tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post357767001573787849..comments2010-04-27T10:44:51.589-07:00Jaelithehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12081888212421953409noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-48062130210664850692010-04-27T09:25:07.958-07:002010-04-27T09:25:07.958-07:00YES, just YESSSSSS. I was horrified by this story, also being a mom who has a traditionally labeled &quot;difficult&quot; son you don&#39;t fucking abandon them. You do your best, you try, you love them anyway. I hope this boy gets an amazing family who deserves him.sugaredharpyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01851172202910965571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-18916476373823310502010-04-12T14:45:58.165-07:002010-04-12T14:45:58.165-07:00Jaelithe, I just discovered your blog via Dating Jesus. I have added it to my list of subscriptions. I love your writing and your ideas. <br /><br />I&#39;m the mom of three boys--the oldest of which was a 24-weeker who spent 117 days in the NICU. I can so relate to what you say here.<br /><br />I&#39;ve linked to your beautiful post in my blog: http://marie-everydaymiracle.blogspot.com/2010/04/how-many-people-would-send-back-their.html. Thanks for sharing!Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07604805225366129402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-49220645284190247352010-04-12T11:55:28.435-07:002010-04-12T11:55:28.435-07:00Dear Jaelithe,<br /><br />Thank you for this. I am trying to write about this as well, but I keep finding myself making horrible assumptions about WHY she wanted to adopt; somehting I really know nothing about.<br /><br />What seems clear to me though, is that she did not reach out to the myriad other resources that were available to her. And she does not seem to have done any research into the impact of Russian orphanage life on the kids who life there. This should have been a prerequisite for adopting a child that age. And then there&#39;s the effect of abandonment. Ah, my heart breaks for Artyem.<br /><br />I&#39;ll admit that I&#39;m relieved to hear that things are turning out well for your brother. My boys have, shall we say, an underdeveloped sense of danger. Things have improved greatly in recent years, but of course, I always worry.Lissehttp://homeintheworld.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-90410851196560346122010-04-12T09:25:09.823-07:002010-04-12T09:25:09.823-07:00Dear Jaelithe, <br /><br />I love you.<br /><br />---JeannetteJeannette E. Spaghettihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13524414432547858109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-52182812091555228742010-04-12T07:56:41.342-07:002010-04-12T07:56:41.342-07:00I think a lot has to do with considering yourself family. Look at the adoptive mother&#39;s note: I no longer wish to parent this child. I think she had a fantasy, as witnessed by not allowing this grown child to even keep his own first name. <br /><br />It does happen that a mother divorces a child, even a biological child. I have no idea what goes into that decision--not liking the role, not liking the child, wanting something else out of life...but the bond is broken.<br /><br />I personally think this 7 year old boy is going to be better off now. On the news today they said several families there want to adopt him. The government insists on figuring out his &quot;citizenship&quot; issues first. I have so little good to say about Russian orphanages and foreign adoption in general, except that I actually do hope we end this particular relationship with Russia. Their collective abuses trump any one of ours.<br /><br />P.S. My little brother set a couple of fires, too. He also grew out of it. I don&#39;t think it was malicious, I think it was just compelling to him. I think there are gaps in our understanding of child development.Celestenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-39013745646253386872010-04-11T19:21:46.429-07:002010-04-11T19:21:46.429-07:00Heard about this on NPR.<br />Excellent post, once again.Farrellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01322144788826667458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-72687102512690548702010-04-11T16:29:57.640-07:002010-04-11T16:29:57.640-07:00Beautifully said.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-6251020208845976762010-04-11T04:25:39.451-07:002010-04-11T04:25:39.451-07:00Wow - I&#39;ve been thinking about this story since yesterday, and couldn&#39;t form an intelligent response. You said it all, beautifully and thoughtfully.<br /><br />Thanks!Anonymoushttp://(optional)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-87943867841802797222010-04-10T20:58:37.870-07:002010-04-10T20:58:37.870-07:00This was... wow. I&#39;m speechless.Sthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09851077598314983920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-87126611153641518582010-04-10T14:49:47.828-07:002010-04-10T14:49:47.828-07:00this was a really great essay. I&#39;m so glad your brother grew up well! And as someone whose kids all, for different reasons, woke up every hour or two until they were 2 and a quarter, I always like running across someone who knows what sustained sleep craziness is like. And I love the line about not abandoning a hurting child who needs you, b/c that&#39;s where I am at night. B/c I&#39;m so tired, I don&#39;t remember how I came across your blog...but I&#39;m glad I did.glacierlilieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082101805421187399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-1401579599490745192010-04-10T07:08:20.942-07:002010-04-10T07:08:20.942-07:00I just read that story and it made me so angry. Your story, however, is beautiful.Ginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00684328990767140199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14577813.post-52978057065219844182010-04-09T20:59:48.818-07:002010-04-09T20:59:48.818-07:00Stuff like that always makes me sad.Awesome Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03523320907836876707noreply@blogger.com