Monday, July 17, 2006

15 16 Things I Hate Strongly Dislike

1.) Greedy, condescending landlords who not only won't fix things that break on their properties, but also imply when you ask them to fix something that is broken that by even ASKING them to fix something you are seriously wasting their invaluable time.

I am paying your salary, bitch. I'm your CUSTOMER. You are supposed to provide me with SERVICE. That's your job: CUSTOMER SERVICE. I am not your serf.

End of story.

2.) Politicians who lie. So, wait-- I guess that's all of them? *sigh* I'll amend that: Politicians.

3.) People who park their Cadillac Escalades / Porche Cayennes / Hummers crookedly, across two parking spaces, at the Whole Foods Market. (You know who you are, and you're not fooling anybody).

4.) Childless, self-righteous, anti-child hedonists who deride me (and other parents) openly, in public, for having the temerity to continue the human race by having children. As though the very existence of my child inconveniences them beyond all bounds of reason. As though having children were a noisome fashion trend that had finally, thankfully gone out of style.

Yes, the world is overpopulated. Yes, having a child is a selfish decision in some ways. But children have to be born to someone, and raised by someone, if humanity is to persist at all. You yourselves were children once. You yourself had parents and/or guardians who gave you life and took care of you. Someone gave up hours of their own precious life just to wipe your ass.

And if everyone stops having kids just to please you, there will BE no one to wipe your ass in the nursing home when you're 95.

My "breeder" status does not make me a second-class citizen, any more than your childless status makes your life somehow less fulfilling and useful than mine.

If you really think the world will be a better place without humans, go do your part for the cause, and jump off a bridge, already. Otherwise, please muster enough common courtesy to avoid criticizing my lifestyle choices to my face.

5.) Wars over religion. (Here's a hint to the Children of Abraham: I am fairly certain your God was not joking when he said "Thou shalt not kill." Okay, so that's what the Jewish and Christian texts say, and technically the Quran version says something more along the lines of "And do not take any human being's life - that God willed to be sacred - other than in the pursuit of justice.” But still. Close enough. Come on now).

6.) The fact that children all over the world are left to starve while surplus food rots in warehouses.

7.) Belligerent willful ignorance. You know, that kind of ignorance that takes it up a notch. It's not just being ignorant (lacking in knowledge), or even willfully ignorant (rejecting knowledge; choosing not to learn a fact or facts even though evidence of said fact or facts is abundantly present)-- it's being so dedicated to, so besotted and enamored of your own ignorance, that you want to FORCE everyone around you to be as ignorant as you are.


8.) A public school system that does not teach critical thinking (see #7).

9.) Comma splices, superfluous commas, contractions confused with possessives, and improper use of apostrophes.

10.) When I make stupid typographical errors in comments I leave on other people's sites that make it seem as though I don't know how to use commas, semicolons, possessives, contractions or apostrophes (see my comment on Mom-101's latest post, posted today).

11.) Depression. (My own).

12.) Ennui. (My own).

13.) Writer's block. (My own).

14.) Pointless, circular, non-productive self-pity about lack of time and energy to write. (My own).

15.) Suffering from numbers 11-14 all at the SAME TIME.

16.) Feeling like I can't post ANYTHING because I can't come up with a good post to finish a meme. Having post ideas flit through my head one after another and vanish unposted day after day as I think, "No, I can't write about that yet-- I have to finish this meme! And this one! Oh, and that one too!" Being such a freakin' perfectionist that I can't finish a meme that would take someone else ten minutes to finish because, no, NO, I have to take it to the next level-- I have to be cool-- I have to do something completely innovative with this little blog meme that no one in the blogoverse has ever thought of before--

And then just putting up something crappy or half-finished after a week of rejecting/editing/procrastinating.

All instead of just having fun with it, like the nice person who tagged me intended.

Okay, I know, that last one was like actually 5 things. Heh.

Now I tag Queue, because she's a meme mistress but I'm pretty sure she hasn't done this one (do correct me if you have), and Moonstruck Mama, cuz she's a newbie. Bwa ha ha!


Amelie said...

Why not make your next blog about 15 things you love? I know that you're only letting your frustrations out, but in the meantime it's making you an angry person. Life is too short to be feeling this way, concentrate on what makes you happy.

Jaelithe said...

Oh, Amelie-- it's a meme! I wouldn't have come up with it on my own, because honestly, I don't like the word "hate." It's too strong a word for me most of the time.

But that "Things I Love" post is a good idea. Maybe I should start a meme for that!

I'll never tell said...

Can I just ask, what is a meme?

Debbie said...

Jae? I love you?

that is, I. love. you.

(do I need to state that you have a genius for articulation? do I further need to state that I agree with EVERY SINGLE THING you said in that perfect meme? DO I? evidently. well, either way.)


Andrea said...

#4? Who can I punch?

And it's not half-finished! It's fantastic! Even if I do use commas a bit too much sometimes. :)

Major Bedhead said...

I like #4 a lot. That holier-than-thou attitude makes my blood boil. I'm not as articulate as you when my blood is boiling, so thanks for putting it so well.

And yeah, I pretty much agree with everything else, too.

Anonymous said...

Vent gurrrl. Get it all out.

Anonymous said...


It's the familiar form of the name "Melissa" or "Mariah."

As in "The Emancipation of MeMe."

Jaelithe said...

Aw, Dwight, you're a big meanie, teasing the N00Bs :P I must have been on the Blogger main page sidebar last night or something.


Lori, defines meme thusly:

"A unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another."

Webster says:

"An idea, behavior, style, or usage that spreads from person to person within a culture."

In a blogging context, a meme of the particular sort I referred to in this post is viral post idea. As in, one blogger comes up with an idea for a post. That blogger first writes a post for his or her own site based on the idea, and then "tags" a couple of other bloggers, asking them to write similarly themed posts on their sites. If the tagged bloggers choose to accept the meme, they are then expected to "tag" someone else.

It's sort of a game.

Make sense?

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that I deeply apologize for whatever amount of #4 was directed at me for our conversation when I visited last. I don't know if you wrote that with me pointedly in mind or if it was directed in a more general sense. However, I do know that when I feel strongly about something, I am sometimes not aware of my feelings overriding my common courtesy. So, I just wanted to say sorry.

On an unrelated note, I definitely agree that you should post a "15 (or 16) Things You Love (or Strongly Like)" entry.


Anonymous said...

"Yes, having a child is a selfish decision in some ways"

Having a kid is the most SELFLESS thing a person can do. Tell those who disagree with your decision to procreate to screw off. No pun intended.

Bea said...

This meme is tough one to complete, isn't it? (It took me awhile to do, and even then I kind of cheated by targeting only Angelina Jolie and no one else with my hatred!) That said, this post rocked! It was exhilarating just reading it - especially #4.

Jaelithe said...

Anonymous N-- that was so NOT about you! My silly N! You are not self-righteous, or a hedonist :P Actually after I posted that I was worrying that maybe you would think it was about you, and I felt bad :(

If you hang out around the mommyblog/daddyblogosphere for a while you'll see that encounters with people who hate kids and are rude about it are actually quite common.

Perstephone said...

You rolled out the sass on this one and I love it! I also agree with you on about 90% of them.

Mom101 said...

I like the ranting you. Don't do things you love. Unless they're really things other people hate. Otherwise...well, eh. Interest comes from tension. That's why the hero only gets the girl after battling the ninjas, surviving the quicksand and fighting the antagonist bare-handed.

Lisa said...

Yes 4 and 6 are horrid. And this was a fabby list. Hey, open for July 29 for lunch? (Let me know.... Step and I are trying to get people together...)

metro mama said...

Hi there. Bub and Pie just pointed me in your direction. Love your blog.

I can especially relate to #4 and have ranted about it recently.

Anonymous said...

Let 'em all know that they're disliked...