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Friday, December 15, 2006

Okay,

The reason I have not been posting this week is that, after many delays, I am finally closing on a new house, like next week!

What? Next week, you say? Like, as in, the week before Christmas?

Why, yes. Yes. In fact, it is.

*head explodes*

Friday, December 08, 2006

I Know He Was Not Switched at Birth

MOTHER: Would you like some milk?

CHILD: Yes, I want some chocolate milk, please. With chocolate in it.

MOTHER: Okay, I'll get you some chocolate milk.

CHILD: With CHOCOLATE in it. Chocolate milk. With chocolate.

MOTHER (handing Child a cup of chocolate milk): Here you are. Chocolate milk.

CHILD: With chocolate in it?

MOTHER: YES.

CHILD: Mmm. I like chocolate.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

An Addendum to My Previous Letter (See Below)

P.S. It is so nice to see that you finally shoveled and salted the walks throughout the complex today, six days after the snow-and-ice storm, and three business days after electricity was restored to the complex. Seeing as how much of the snow on the walks had already melted yesterday, it's nice to know you were still willing to put forth a half-hearted, belated effort to show you can pretend you want to keep your residents safe. And here I was fully on the point of buying an industrial-sized snow shovel and fifty pounds of salt so I could clear the walks myself!

I am sure that if my blind, partially deaf elderly next door neighbor who walks with a cane managed to work up the courage to try to walk more than a step past his front door over the past few days, he had great fun slipping and sliding around as he attempted to navigate the ice-encrusted walks. Way to keep an old blind man on his toes!

Monday, December 04, 2006

The Letter I Wish I Were Sending to My Leasing Office

To Whom It May Concern:

My husband and I will not be renewing our lease ending January 31st 2007. We are purchasing a house, and plan to vacate our current apartment by the end of January.

Incidentally, our new residence will have a fully functioning stove and microwave, and, according to our home inspector, does not appear to have faulty wiring that causes the power to go out in a drizzle, faulty plumbing that causes water to gush through the fan in the bathroom ceiling, squirrels in the ventilation system, a chronic ant infestation problem, or a chronic carpenter bee infestation problem, all of which were definite selling points compared to our current abode.

Thanks for nothing,

Ms. Jaelithe J.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Just a Note

To say that my electricity is back, but I have had a very busy weekend catching up on all sorts of things I couldn't do while I had no electricity, so you will all have to wait to read all the entertaining anecdotes I have been planning to share regarding my adventures in real estate until I recover from storm craziness.

I hope all my hometown readers are warm tonight . . .

Friday, December 01, 2006

Deja Vu

Read this.

Switch summer to winter; switch record highs to single digit lows; keep the whole half a million homes in my city without power, some possibly for days, thing.

Oh, and mine is one of them.

Again.

See you when the electric company decides my apartment is as important as the video store across the street . . .