Thursday, August 14, 2008

Conversations with a Four-Year-Old: The Circle of Life

CHILD: Mommy, are we meat?

MOTHER: What did you say?

CHILD: I said, are we meat?

MOTHER: Did you just ask if we were meat?


MOTHER: Do you mean, meat, like, for eating?

CHILD: Yeah.

MOTHER: Why would you ask that?

CHILD: Well, lions and tigers eat people sometimes, right?

MOTHER: Well, lions and tigers don't usually eat people. They usually eat zebras or antelopes or something.

CHILD: But they also eat people sometimes.

MOTHER: Well, yes, sometimes.

CHILD: So, are we meat?

MOTHER: Well, if you want to put it that way, yes. We're meat.

CHILD: So what is meat made of, exactly?

MOTHER: Meat is muscles. You know, those things that are attached to your bones, under your skin, that make your body move? Muscles? Well, animals have muscles too. And that's what people eat when they eat meat. It's animal muscles.

MOTHER: (VO, internal monologue) Please don't let him swear off chicken nuggets please don't let him swear off chicken nuggets God I know I'm a vegetarian but this kid is so damned picky if he swears off chicken nuggets I have no idea what I will feed him at restaurants PLEASE DON'T BE A HIPPIE LIKE MOM TODAY, OKAY, KID?!?!

CHILD: Animals have muscles? COOL!


Awesome Mom said...

That boy is freaky smart!

Anonymous said...

phew! Jake actually ate half a cheeseburger a month was his first beef product, well his first protein other than peanut butter in two years. We were so happy, now for a repeat performance....cute conversation!

Kim said...

Isn't it amazing how their thought processes suddenly veer off?

Anonymous said...

LOL That is great. I had a converstion w/ the 9 year old. He read a story about how Abraham Lincoln loved animals and how he would catch and relase fish..(don't ask me, chapter book) and then we had the whole organic free range conversation about chickens..but when we got to the cow part..he couldn't believe people ate cows..I was scared to death to tell him about cheeseburgers, plain w/ just cheese cuz I thought he would boycott..and then he wanted to know if God intended on us eating the animals in the garden of eden.. I'm worn out just typing can imagine the 45 minute converstation...which ended w/ what heaven looks like.

Anonymous said...

OH man, this sounds like my house! Right down to the chicken nuggets/buddies/fingers that Little Man will eat and would starve if he stopped eating them! Yikes!

These conversations always play out in our house too, except they're mostly about dinosaurs and whether they're carnivores or herbivores. Just had one of these convos this morning, actually.

Hey, come on over to my blog! I'm having a giveaway that you might be interested it... ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey chicklet! I've nominated you for an award. Get your dress on and join me on the red carpet. Pronto!

Jeannette E. Spaghetti said...

That is too funny!

Anonymous said...

He is a smart cookie and you crack me up! I know what you mean about not wanting him to give up nuggets. It's one of the few things my kids eat.

Leighann of Multi-Minding Mom said...

I was just reading your archives and it's funny because my daughter (who doesn't eat meat) just confronted me with a similar line of questioning.

I'm not allowed to "nibble" on her or her brother anymore because they are meat and "we don't eat meat."

It got more and more funny as the conversation went on.

I think our two kids would play well, wait. I think they would come up with a plan for world domination together. Maybe not such a good idea!