MOTHER: Hold still please so I can put this lotion on you. It's good for your skin.
CHILD: Lotion is not good for your skin.
MOTHER: Yes it is. This lotion is.
CHILD: No it's not!
MOTHER: Of course it is, silly. Why would I, your mother, who loves you and wants you to be healthy and happy, purposefully put something on your skin that was bad for your skin?
CHILD: Well, when I was a baby you didn't always do good things.
MOTHER: What do you mean? What did I do that was bad when you were a baby?
CHILD: When I was a baby, I bet you used to put VINEGAR on my skin!
MOTHER: I did not. Why on earth would I do such a thing?
CHILD: Because when I was a baby, you didn't know yet how much you loved me.
MOTHER: I did too know I loved you when you were a baby.
CHILD: No, you didn't. You didn't know how much you loved me because all I could say was "Dada."
MOTHER: Do you mean you think I didn't love you because you said Dada as your first word instead of Mama?
MOTHER: You silly boy. I didn't mind that you said Dada first. I loved you before you could even talk. I loved you before you were even born!
CHILD: You did?
MOTHER: Of course I did. Before you were born, when you were still inside my belly, I used to talk to you and sing songs to you and I would tell you how much I loved you. And I would put my hands on my belly so I could feel you kicking me. You would kick and kick, and my belly would jump up every time you kicked me.
CHILD: Oh, I'm sorry about kicking you so much when I was in your belly.
MOTHER: Well, that's all right that you kicked me. I didn't mind.
CHILD: I couldn't see you while I was in there. I thought you were a drum.
MOTHER: You thought I was a drum?
CHILD: Oh, yes. It made a great sound when I kicked you. THUMP. THUMP.
Edited after reading comments regarding my son's future as a professional drummer to add:
The best part about this, really, which can only be appreciated by someone who knows Isaac well, is that, if left to his own devices, he would listen to music all day long. And when he's listening to music, he drums on things CONSTANTLY. When he was about six months old, I got him a new big boy high chair and the very first thing he did when I sat him down in it for the first time was drum on the tray. He drums on the coffee table. He drums on the floor. He drummed on our old glass dinner table so much I started to fear he'd hit the right frequency and shatter it, so I gave it away and bought a wooden dining table instead.
And his Kindermusic class teacher has specifically said to us, "You have a fantastic future drummer on your hands," because he can already do simultaneous independent rhythms with each hand.
When I was pregnant with him, in the last few months of my pregnancy, whenever I would sit near some device playing music with a strong beat, he would kick in time.